Micromessaging: Why Great Leadership is Beyond Words
By Stephen Young
Reviewed: September 2007

Should you sweat the small stuff? Stephen Young says yes, especially when it comes to communication: no matter what you think you’re saying, you may actually be communicating something entirely different through the “micro-messages” your body language and tone of voice are sending.

The visual and vocal clues in communication are far more powerful than the actual words we use. I’ve been teaching this for years, incorporating the concepts in all my classes. Mr. Young, an organizational guru who has delivered his “micro-messaging” seminars to an impressive list of Fortune 500 companies, presents a clear and compelling case citing examples that ring with everyday authenticity. I guarantee you’ll recognize yourself or your boss or colleague in some of them. You’ll be amazed at how often you send a message to someone that you didn’t intend - at least not consciously.

Young has captured data and compiled it into an easily readable, digestible book. He explains the nature of “micro-inequities” and their subtle, but nonetheless detrimental, influence on team performance; loss of trust, morale, and initiative follow as surely as the night follows day. “People live up to your expectations, not their potential,” he writes, and you spell out your expectations, albeit unconsciously, in the way in which you phrase questions, make introductions, critique a presentation, or simply walk into a room. He goes on to write, “It’s a remarkable living irony that those responsible for providing guidance and knowledge often inflict the most damage. An unfortunate mantra: The higher the academic achievement, often the lower their micro-messaging effectiveness.”

He writes about assumptions, cultural communication differences, how to speak an unpleasant message (“That was a lousy presentation, John, and we can’t have that happen again.”) void of micro-inequities. (“What the hell was that, John?! Jeez…” as he shakes his head and walks away). We have all been guilty of micro-inequities - both giving and receiving. Now we have a name to describe the feeling so hard to articulate in the moment when we feel slighted but can’t seem to pinpoint the reason why.

I suspect you’ll feel validated when reading this book. I did. This is one I wish I’d written because I actually know this stuff (ask me if I use it all the time). I recommend reading it not because you will become a more effective communicator at the job or at home. You will. I recommend it because you’ll become a more effective person, able to mentor and lead others by example - whether your family or your team - in dramatic and fruitful ways.

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