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Leadership Talk
January 2006
- Example:
“We
have to get this done by 5:00”; “We need
to finish this ASAP.”
This is a great example of
counter-productive language. The “or else” dangles
like a poisonous carrot; the implication being something simply
terrible will happen if we don’t meet the “deadline”
(listen to that!) and it forces your team’s focus in
that direction.
You want to focus on the
positive outcome (the finished product) without
bloodying yourself across the finish line with the whip of
“or else.” You won’t die; it only feels
that way when you use “restrictive” language.
Take an extra second and
reframe the same statement, shaping a “constructive”
meta-message:
- Replace
with: “We’ll want to
complete this before we head home tonight.”
Sound too simple? Too soft?
Try it for a month and watch your team’s productivity
soar while the anxiety level drops significantly. Remove
as many “have to’s” as you can and replace
with “want to’s.” People function with less
stress and respond more willingly by focusing on what they
DO want to happen, rather than what they DON’T want
to happen. They all want to head home tonight.
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Word
of the Month
“RESPECT”
Aretha got it right:
“R-E-S-P-E-C-T! Find out what it means to me!”
Respect sprouts internally and is a recipe,
not an ingredient. Respect is a combination
of a lot of different things and the sum total of them all.
It begins when you tell yourself the truth about what really
matters to you instead of what other people tell you should
matter to you. You cannot respect someone else until you respect
yourself.
Learning to respect people
who stand up for what they believe – even if you don’t
always agree with them – begins by standing up for yourself.
Respect is an act of tolerance on display.
Feeling disrespected by others
is often a result of feeling unheard. If you feel disrespected
by others, ask yourself, “Where am I being less than
respectful toward others? Where am I not listening to others?”
then notice what happens.
Give away what you’d
like to receive. It works wonders.
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Leadership
Language Archives
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