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Leadership Talk
June 2006
“I guess” is what people say
when they don’t know what they want. It is a dead give
away to any astute listener that not only do you not know
what you want you also do not seem to care very much
about it.
When you say “I guess so” you
perpetuate a sense of apathy about your life and disengagement
from your relationships. “I guess” says “I
don’t know and I don’t care enough about myself
to figure it out.”
Take an extra second and reframe the same statement, shaping
a “constructive” meta-message for yourself as
much as your listener:
- Replace
with: Add the word “Yes, please”
or change to “No, thank you”
Imagine going out to dinner at a restaurant.
When the waiter comes by your table and asks what you’d
like to order you respond with “I don’t know.”
He or she reviews the specials and you say, “Oh, bring
me whatever. It doesn’t matter.” How likely is
it that you will be presented with a meal you’ll enjoy?
Life is like a gigantic restaurant. You
order your own meal. When you say “I guess so”
in response to questions for clarification you end up feeling
increasingly lethargic about all your choices in
life.
Figure out what you do want and
then tell people. Stand up and speak out! Others
will feel more connected to you and you will feel more confident
and vibrant.
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Word
of the Month
“PERFECTIONISM”
- Perfectionism is the product of a belief system
that says you must do everything “right” in order
to be worthy of being valued.
There is nothing wrong with wanting
to do a good job, but needing to do a perfect
job is counter-productive to your well being emotionally and
physically, and the need to be perfect will often
breed guilt, criticism and self-loathing. It also irritates
the people with whom you live and work. Perfectionism is exhausting
to be around all the time! And it can become a compulsion.
You can still strive to improve without berating yourself
for being less than perfect. There’s a balance to be
found between pushing yourself and striving for excellence,
and pushing others and striving for perfection. The
former can be achieved; the latter is wasted energy.
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Leadership
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