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The Constellation Learning Newsletter
January 2006
“When
you change the way you look at things,
you change the way things look.”
Wayne Dyer
Get some new stuff over the holidays?
We all like new things: clothes, car, or
career; idea, book, or movie; recipe, shoes, or promotion.
Yes, we all like new, we like improvement, we like variety.
But change? Nope, change is different. We categorize ‘new’
as good and ‘change’ as bad. Change is uncomfortable.
Variety, easy – change, tough. That’s why most
health clubs make their annual numbers the first quarter of
the year; by March almost 90% of those new gym members committed
to getting into shape have bought into their excuses again
and reverted to old patterns of behaviour – which didn’t
include exercise.
Long-term changes take root with repetition.
There’s just no way around that. The desired change
must be implemented many times before the implementer begins
to actually desire the behavioural change. In other words,
one must actually put on one’s exercise clothes, get
to the gym and work out on a regular basis at least four weeks
in a row before one begins to actually want to go to the gym.
This, in quantum physics, is termed an attractor field and
it is one powerful puppy when accessed and activated. Attractor
fields refer to the magnetic pull of energy patterns that
can be identified, defined and calibrated. At a very fundamental
level we create and experience the events of our lives based
on the attractor fields we erect.
And then there are the sudden changes you
don’t want, didn’t plan for, and from which you
certainly see no immediate benefit. Like being fired, or having
your territory cut by your boss, or getting sick. What to
do with those? Well, creating attractor fields begins with
choosing one’s attitudes. Attractor fields, like Legos
or erector sets, can be taken apart and rearranged to create
a different “reality” from the same “pieces.”
*
 For
example, I had planned to take my four nephews and nieces
as well as my own sons to see the movie Narnia on Boxing Day
in Indianapolis where I was visiting family over the holidays.
Narnia holds a dear place in our family history and I was
very much looking forward to the experience of sharing it
visually with wee ones in wide-eyed wonder. As well, it would
give my brother and his wife an afternoon of complete quiet
sans enfants in which to clean up the house for their Open
House the same evening. They had invited a few friends –
fifty families or so would be dropping by around 4:00 PM.
We arrived on December 23rd to a hostess
and one child down with a virulent twenty-four hour stomach
bug. The youngest had brought it home the day before and the
household was wearing the quiet of those who have been up
all night. “Don’t get near me,” she cautioned
us from the back stairs before scooting back to the safety
of her bed. As various far-flung family members arrived throughout
the day each would declare “I’m not getting it!”
To make a long story short, my sister-in-law
and her son felt better the next day. We had a wonderful visit,
ate and drank well, danced to U2 in the kitchen after the
Christmas wine laden roast beef feast (much to the delight
of the younger generation who love nothing more than to witness
their parents making fools of themselves while wine-happy)
and declared it “the best Christmas ever!”
The first of us went down at 8:00 PM Christmas
evening. One by one we dropped like so many tin ducks in Mother
Nature’s shooting gallery. Cheaper by the dozen, she
nailed us all. Boxing Day was spent waiting for the next eruption
and running for the closest bathroom. My sister-in-law, now
completely recovered, cancelled her party posting a sign on
the front door for those she couldn’t reach by phone:
“Open House Closed due to the Plague.” The next
day, somewhat recovered, my husband I drove back to Toronto.
Needless to say, none of us went to the movies
on Boxing Day and I was saddened by the loss of that experience.
But the attractor field of love was so thick in my brother’s
house that despite the running and retching, despite the loss
of the movie experience, it was easy to find the good in the
situation, to re-assemble the existing pieces of the situation
into something that would allow for gratitude. It begins with
one's thoughts. And that is where change originates.
My rearranged reality: If you’re going
to retch, let it be at home, and if it has to be with someone,
let it be your family members; at least we got to enjoy the
dinner and dancing; and I lost my holiday pounds in swift
fashion.
Not bad. Not bad at all.
Application Tips:
- Surrender – Accept the
Situation especially if you didn’t
CHOOSE it. Don’t fight the tide. It’s always
exhausting and generally futile. This is true unless the
situation or event or person is compromising your core values.
Then you must stop complaining and remove yourself.
* For more information on attractor
fields see Power vs. Force, by David Hawkins, M.D., Ph.D.
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