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The Constellation Learning Newsletter
February 2006
“To
change and to change for the better are two different things.”
-- German Proverb
I’ve figured out why 90% of all New Year’s resolutions
fail within three weeks; it’s too darn dismal and grey
to muster enough energy to care.
January 23rd is apparently the most dismal day of the year.
Seriously, with apologies to all those born on that day, some
smart guy figured out that with post holiday bills and blues,
reduction of follow-through on New Year’s resolutions
and the lack of light and increased cold, it kind of crashes
in around us by late in the month. (It must be true. I heard
it on T.V. )
Certainly all the grey seems to diffuse my focus. All I can
think about is warm weather, blue skies and green leaves.
I long for tulips and crocuses and daylight savings time.
I am already tired of my winter clothes, want to move to Costa
Rica where no one wears panty hose, and keep only flip flops
and tee shirts in my closet. I used to like to ski. I don’t
remember that now.
I am what you might call a warm weather woman. I now like
to take long walks on country roads on sunny days. I do this
more for the spiritual benefits than I do for the physical
ones, though the overlap is a bonus. Sunny days in tolerable
temperatures being somewhat restricted at this time of year
I am reduced to refreshment by certain rituals, some of which
I employed unwittingly only to discover afterwards that I
had hit upon a recipe recommended in a book I recently read.*
Most mornings I awaken before my husband and spend the beginning
of my day in silence. I feed the cat, make a cup of coffee,
do my Tai Chi. Somehow in the summer it’s easy. The
birds are chirping and the cat wants outside. In the winter
I want to stay snuggled up in bed in the morning; it’s
cold and dark beyond the covers.
So, since I feel better and handle stress more effectively
when I do my morning routine than when I don’t, I have
taken to lighting a candle before I feed the cat (who demands
that she be top of my daily ‘to do’ list). Even
though it is pitch black and I can still see the stars, staring
at the small flame while I meditate allows me to feel warmed.
Somehow that candle helps soothe my spirit and get me through
the winter grey.
We all need designed rituals inserted into our days, moments
of calm chosen to clear the mind and strengthen the soul.
It matters little if your choice involves reading, or running,
or lying still. Whether it’s taking a bath, taking a
class, or taking a walk, one’s intent is what matters
most. If your refreshment ritual becomes another thing to
squeeze into your busy day because you know it’s good
for you and you ought to do it and you ought to want to do
it, you’ll derive little benefit form it. Do it because
you want to and because you like to and the payoffs will be
exponential – like walking a country road in summer.
As the days become darkest and the weather coldest let not
your spirits suffer from stagnation. Taking care of ourselves
is generally easier in warm weather; consistency and character
are chiseled in the cold. Incorporating any small daily act
will help offset the stressors inherent in your fast placed
work world. Instead of wishing for spring, find a way to win
winter’s affection.
Call it a personal chill pill. Take one a day to fight the
effects of anxiety.
Application Tips:
- FOCUS First– Pick ONE Thing!
This sounds so basic – because it IS. And we all ignore
it way too often! Pick one thing and commit to it several
times a week, ex. Read 15 minutes before bed instead of
watching T.V.; get up 15 minutes earlier to meditate each
morning. Whatever the ritual, make it real for you. Something
you want to do rather than should do.
- FUN Second - You must LIKE it!
Again, pretty basic, and you’d be surprised how many
people attempt to appropriate someone else’s suggestion
on what they should do. Just because it works for your best
friend, doesn’t mean it’s what will work for
you. Whatever you pick as a recovery ritual, make it something
you want and like to do. After one new pattern is ingrained
you can pick up another. If you don’t, you’re
destined to fail. Focusing on one desired behavioural change
at a time is the bast way to ensure you get to a second.
* See
this month’s Recommended Reading
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