The Constellation Learning Newsletter
May 2007

Spring has finally sprung! Last week was a wonderful wide open cracking away of the sky’s gray mantel. Like bears, it is as though people are waking up after a long hibernation and stretching in the sunlight.

In the words of Eric Idle of Monty Python fame, it’s time to “laugh and smile and dance and sing.”

Nothing like the beauty of spring to steer one’s heart toward charitable thoughts.

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~ Monthly Message ~

“When you cease to make a contribution,
you begin to die.”

-- Eleanor Roosevelt

I’m delivering two keynotes this month, one in the States and one in Ottawa, both for charitable organizations. They’ve asked me to speak on the power of helping others, a subject I’m more than happy to tackle because once you really grasp the underlying laws of physics and microbiology (the way the quantum world impacts the human being and vice versa) it becomes very clear indeed: Helping others helps yourself - physically as well as emotionally and spiritually.

Studies have consistently demonstrated the health benefits of charitable living for years. By this I mean, living with an “other” focus - seeing the opportunities to make a difference everyday. These benefits seem to focus primarily on the health of the heart and its associative functions.

When we help someone and (here’s the important part) feel the difference we made, internally, experientially, a host of corollary physiological ripples cascade throughout our bodies:

• increased production of “happy” hormones (seretonin and dopamine),
• lowering blood pressure,
• improving circulation, and
• strengthening the immune system.

In other words, unless one actually feels a personal involvement and participates - actually experiences - the contribution, then it becomes a somewhat empty gesture void of the health benefits. And those feelings - those peptides put together by your hypothalamus that result in happy hormone production - start with the way we think, the way we see the world. Few happy thoughts, few happy hormones.

Last week I traveled to Chicago to help my youngest sister begin her extensive purging process in preparation to move from her home of 17 years. She’s accumulated a lot of stuff and I’m an expert (due to practice) in culling unnecessary clutter.

After only three days, we had cleaned up and moved out so much that our spirits were lightened even as our legs and backs screamed “enough!” Mostly, I think, it was the “can do” attitude and sunny disposition I carried through the door that helped the most. When I left I could see and feel the difference made to her home - and heart.

Former U.S President Teddy Roosevelt once said, "Do what you can, where you are, with what you have.” If you think about it, that’s pretty much every where, all the time.

As human beings, we are called to give of ourselves, each day, donating to the world not just out money, time, and talent, but first and foremost, our attention - our awareness and personal involvement.

Does that mean you need to join some organization and volunteer? No. I know people whose charitable involvements are all about the networking and the P.R. No, unless we’re giving from the heart, there’s no pay-off.

Want a real “charitable” pay-off? Want to feel great at the end of the day?

Try this: do not complain about anything.

Reframe all your communications to reflect a “gift from your heart:” Sounds way too “soft,” doesn’t it? Here’s what I mean: give honest compliments, appreciations, clarifications, apologies, connections.

Listen. Give your full attention to what’s right in front of you. Say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ more often—and mean it. There’s a difference in the way you say it when you mean it.

Hold the door open for a stranger. Give up your seat on the subway. These are the gifts that can only be given when we notice the myriad opportunities for true charity every single day. Sort of like driving 10 hours each way to clean out a sister’s closets and cubby holes. (Ok, maybe not like that.)

Consider your smallest acts of courtesy, consideration, or kindness equal to the largest monetary donation you’ve ever given. You will be remembered for the former more readily than the latter; lots of financially poor people are very generous in spirit.

As Kahlil Gibran said, “Generosity is not giving me that which I need more than you do, but it is giving me that which you need more than I do." That’s profound.

So give away good will at home and the office and watch your world change. It’s good for your heart, it’s good for your health, and it nurtures hope in a world that desperately needs it. All that’s required is your attention.

Now, if only my lower back would appreciate my “charity” as much as my heart (and sister) does.

Application Tips:

• “Pay attention to your casual, everyday comments”
  Here are a couple of examples of how you can make a small difference everyday: When someone asks “How are you,” or “How’s it going,” do not reply, “fine.” Respond with some word that requires conscious thought. Respond “great,” “fantastic,” or whatever superlative strikes your fancy.
  
  It’s remarkable how the quantum field resonates out from an ‘attentive’ attitude even in the small, casual remarks.
  
  Here’s another: Challenge yourself to do one selfless act, one really charitable act, each day. Standing behind someone at a checkout counter who’s searching for that nickel she’s short? Pass one of yours on. Like the cut of the suit of the guy in the elevator? Or that gal’s shoes in front of you in the line at Starbucks? Say so. You’ll make a difference to them and you’ll feel great.
  
  Small contributions in the emotional charity bank account add up over time, remember. Like dollar cost averaging.
  
• “Give an anonymous “gift” each day”
  Want to really bump up your “giving” program (it’s not much different from a regular savings plan!) try this: watch and listen to the folks you work with or live with. Pay close attention. Something will reveal itself, a way you could make a small (or large) difference in their life.
  
  Example: Let’s say there’s a fellow at work who always arrives with coffee and donut in hand. How about you beat him to the punch one day? Put a donut on his desk and play dumb when he asks how it got there. Or leave a note that says “I appreciate all you do around here” and sign it “an anonymous admirer.” Sound hokey? You bet. But then again, the ROI is worth it, knowing you made a small difference that day. Besides, it’s about your account, as well as theirs.
  
  It’s the anonymous part that’s hard. We all like taking credit, but it’s the anonymity that produces the biggest pay-off. (Besides, is any gift really anonymous? Think about it….)

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